thedelphinater

Hmm, dark, but good. Needs some cleaning up though. The first word of each line should be capitalized, and you only did that for a few lines. Also, you are ...

I loved this! I thought the imagery, the message, everything was awesomeness! One thing that made me frown a little was the meter and rhyme (or at least I think ...

This was depressing, but really good. I liked how the story sort of flips at the end. It goes from the perspective of an innocent little kid, to a criminal ...

This was good. I really liked it. A few little things though: Firstly, I definitely agree that the punctuation needs work. Secondly, and I'm not even sure if this is ...

To LOSO: Um, not quite what I was thinking. Actually, not to throw off your beliefs and what not, but I would technically be considered an atheist. Sorry. I was ...

Um, what the hell is this? If it was an attempt at serious poetry, no comment. If it was an attempt at humor, it's even lower than slapstick.

Neil vs. Achmed Because Achmed is a puppet, Neil gets to use his awesome puppeteer skills. He makes the Potter Puppet Pals attack Achmed, who dies in a magic induced ...

Snoink vs. Indiana Jones Snoink enters prepared with a pen, but is, however, unable to do anything, because Indie uses his whip to disable her writing abilities. Round 19?: Indiana ...

T'was good, though I will say this one more time: YOU ARE NOT FAT AT ALL!!! I mean, seriously, if you're fat, then I'm scared of what I must be. ...

Wait, I have a question. For whatever reason, I read chapter one through twenty before I read the prologue, and I always thought they were the same age. Here, it ...

Not bad. I liked it. A few little punctuation things though: “Yeah. I like him a lot,” The comma should be a period. “About… us” I had to strain my ...

Um, I think I like it. I wasn't quite sure what it was trying to say most of the time. Like, one minute you're talking about candy corn and Halloween, ...

Wait, I'm a little confuzzled. I thought all of them already knew Nathaniel liked Melody? Or is it just certain people? Anyway, great work as usual. One teeny tiny little ...

Hmm... *ponders* It wasn't a bad poem, it was really good actually. However, I'm pro-choice, so, you know. I mean, I get your point, and I feel bad for the ...

Again, waaaaaaay to short. Combine the chapters or something man!!! Sacrifice the cliffhangers for the flow!!! MY suggestions are combining two and three, or one and two, then three and ...