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Re: Hebephrenic Days
This was awesome! I loved the rhythm and the rhyming and everything! A few little nitpicks however. Main thing I noticed was that at the beginning of each line, the ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:13 pm -
Re: Through The Eyes of Me
This was good, but needs some work. In one word: punctuation. It gets really hard to read and you need more than just the capitalization to separate your thoughts. The ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:17 pm -
Re: And i behold the writer
I really loved this, but I'm gonna get the nitpicks out of the way first. For starters, the beginnings of each line need to be capitalized. So far the the ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:46 pm -
Re: My Best Friend Is Depressed
Aw, I really liked this. I can sort of relate, because me and my friends all have our own little issues, myself majorly included, and even though we piss each ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:32 pm -
Re: The City Is a Beast
This was good and I really liked the idea. However, you had a few issues with the rhyme, rhythm, and organization. The spacing and how you organized the stanzas was ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:14 pm -
Re: In Defense of Mankind
This was good, but a little bit too wordy. A few sentences didn't make much sense to me: He was walking across a blood red barren, dreamlike pillars of crimson ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:10 am -
Re: You Don't Understand
Oopsies! Sorry if I offended anyone with the whole rating thing. My bad! And also, this was very emotional for me. But I think that if I didn't write this ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:53 am -
Re: tell me the truth
I thought this was awesome! I loved the concept, though it did get a little confusing towards the end, with the constant repetition, but oh well, that might just be ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:37 am -
Re: funny made up headlines
Haha, this was good. It scares me that some of these were actually real headlines. Which ones did you make up? I'm horrible at guessing, so I'm not going to. ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:27 am -
Re: Uh, something i've been working on, not finished just yet.
Firstly, you're new (I think), so HI!!! Welcome! Hola! Howdy! Bonjour! (insert any other desired salutation here)! Getting back to your lyrics, not bad, but it needs work. I'm not ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 1:55 am -
Re: Funeral Pyre
Hmm... uh... wait, don't tell me... OK, I give up, I've got nothing. No clue what the movie is, I think. Anyway, I thought this was good. You stuck to ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 1:44 am -
Re: just a photo.
Yay!!! John Lennon!!! Ahem, anyway, not a bad photo, just its a little boring and kinda like, "Um, OK, now what?" Also I can't tell because the pictures is waaay ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 1:37 am -
Re: I'll Never Forget You
This was good. The rhyming fluctuates, which makes it a little confusing, so I'd work on that a little. The rhythm was good, and I couldn't find any little nit-picky ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:12 am -
Re: Why?
Aw, that's sad about your friend. People are so stupid sometimes it drives me nuts. Anyway, your poem was really good. I found two little things that you might want ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:05 am -
Re: Thank you Summer
I liked the poem and I liked the concept. Good job! The rhythm and all that jazz was fine, or at least I thought so. My one little complaint would ...
Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:55 pm
