tgirly

You should put it into novel mode so it's easier to read. I'm not sure that "eerie" is spelled right. "As he pulled on a black cloak and grabbed a ...

I like it a lot, but I don't know how well a college would like it. I don't know that much about college, though, so maybe they would. I REALLY ...

read it twice, then I got it. :)

I like the way you use commas, you're right, they aren't meant strictly for grammatical use in poetry. Nice poem. i really liked the last stanza the best, it's realistic ...

Vi: The boy with the white hair said it'd "be okay", sure that's what any sensible person would think, and now they all probablly had noticed my freaking out and ...

Vi: When we got into the circular vent area the first thing I noticed was the blaring darkness of below, we were higher up than I'd thought originally. Too high ...

Vi "Oh, well better than sitting in a cell" I said trying to convince myself that this wasn't a terrible idea. Thoughts were racing through my head, thoughts I was ...

I reached out for his hand and pulled myself into the stuffy vent. "Thanks I'm Vi" hearing the alarms I started crawling obviously now was not the time for more ...

Vi: I looked up at the air vent again i could hardely believe what was happening, the boy from the hall was here in the airvent, glowing! and was giving ...

Vi: I was back in my cell. They were mad at me for punching the guard, and were taking away my food for the day. That's okay. The food's awful ...

Thanks, I entered it in Best Villian.

That's a really tough writing promp, but you did a good job with it. My only criticism is there's not enough about being in Fairyland, since that's part of the ...

You should remember to capitalize the first letter of each line and not just the first letter of each stanza. I liked the mood of the poem and I liked ...

I think it would flow better if instead of Welcome to the ideas, it was just Welcome to ideas. It makes more sense the way you wrote it, though, so ...

It's an interesting poem, I think it's a little too deep to be about fruit, though. And, umm, you're not a peach. So... I don't know, maybe I''m just not ...