tgirly

You probably should not have it be: A soft bed in a life of full of stress. You should take out the first "of." I like the poem a lot, ...

I like it, and I love the theme. In Life, you shouldn't have worthwhile two lines in a row. Also, in Time, there are some places where you need some ...

I like the poem, but it doesn't really have any flow. Poems need flow. You should probably work on that. Have a good summer. Keep on writing -tgirly

I feel stupid, but I don't know who Tristan and Isolde are. I agree with Belle that there seems to be rythm in some places, but absent in others. But ...

Eve: Arthur just dissapeared. Completely. Great. Now what are we supposed to do? And why did everything seem so... dry. There was barely any moisture in the air. And I ...

I like the poem and the mood of the poem. To make it more interesting, you could go into more detail about how "War rages on around you." You could ...

I took a personality test for my characters, and Bill's an ISTJ (Introvert, sensing, thinking,judging), though the S and J are slight. Charlie is an ENFP (extrovert, intuitive, feeling, perceiving), ...

Eve: I stared at Leo, aghast, as the realization of what Wolf and Leo were saying sunk in. I see Lidz mouthing something to Wolf, and she says, "Close them!" ...

I like it. I get that you aren't capitalizing anything, but you still should put in apostraphies like im should be i'm and its should be it's. Also, its feels ...

It is a funny poem. I like the reference to Twilight. You have to remember to capitalize the first word of each line. Under the line, where it says: Silence ...

Eve: It felt like Wolf was taking a long time. What if something had went wrong? What if he couldn't make the signal? What if Arthur was... I shuddered at ...

I think you could break it up into more than one stanza to give it more flow, but other than that, I like how it melds into the next line ...

I had the perfect name for one of my characters... and then I forgot it. I had to figure out a completely different name.

I like it, though I don't completely understand the last line and I feel like it could have more rythm. Another great poem by Cammie. I think you should have ...

I love the poem. Inspiring. The only thing is, you spelled occasionally wrong. Other than that, I love it.