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Re: Piper
Also, if you could PM me when you finish the second chapter, that would be great.
Sep 3, 2011 -
Re: Piper
It's pretty good, and I don't see any grammer mistakes. It definitely makes me want to read the next chapter. My only critic would be to break the first paragraph ...
Sep 3, 2011 -
Re: Book tiltes/names!
I like two and five the best. My least favorite, is probably one, because it seems a little, I don't know, immature to me.... but that's just my opinion. My ...
Sep 3, 2011 -
Re: Book tiltes/names!
I like two and five the best. My least favorite, is probably one, because it seems a little, I don't know, immature to me.... but that's just my opinion. My ...
Sep 3, 2011 -
Re: The Writers of Dreams
I agree, I couldn't find the beat either, but I liked it a lot, and maybe you do have a melody for it. I also agree that it's a great ...
Sep 3, 2011 -
Re: Runaway Elements (full)
Eve: Rain crossed her arms. I didn't know if I could convince her, and we were wasting precious time arguing. "I'm going with you, Zina," I said. Lidz and Wolf ...
Sep 3, 2011 -
Re: Runaway Elements (full)
Eve: We were all stunned and scared by Zina's revelation. "How do you know?" Rain asks Zina, "How do we know this isn't a trap?" "And if it is?" I ...
Sep 1, 2011 -
Re: Jack's Critique Emporium [BACK IN BUSINESS]
I hear you give really good reviews, so I was wondering if you could review the first chapter of my novel, Hunted. Thanks! :)
Sep 1, 2011 -
Re: Please, Sir... Can I have some more reviews?
Hunted ch. 1 please. Overall, and nitpicking. As nitpicky as you can get, but if there's something wrong with it as a whole, please tell me. Don't be too easy ...
Sep 1, 2011 -
Re: Runaway Elements (full)
Eve: I notice Zina drawing in the dirt and look to see what she's drawing. She's drawn a tree in the dirt. "Nice tree," I say. "Thanks," she replies. She ...
Aug 31, 2011 -
Re: Imagine That
I think this is a great poem, and I really like it, but for some reason, I feel like the first two or three stanzas don't match the rest of ...
Aug 31, 2011 -
Re: Hunted ch. 12
Changing the order a little bit. I glare out the window. Mitch glares ahead as she drives. Silas glares at me. Everyone's in a glaring mood. Well, actually, Mitch is ...
Aug 30, 2011 -
Re: The Escapees
Vi: We're on the move again. Finally. I ignore Drustan and Storm. I have to focus if I'm going to get out of here. I was willing to admit defeat ...
Aug 29, 2011 -
Re: It's Missing You
I like this poem. I like how she knows that it's silly teenage drama, but got caught up in it anyway. It makes it feel more real. The lines are ...
Aug 29, 2011 -
Re: Everytime he smiles
Breath should be breathe. tryed should be tried. You used the wrong "to." You could probably go into a little more detail about how crushed she was, about him and ...
Aug 28, 2011
