telle_04

I thought this was very charming, mistakes aside. I think Durriedog got most of the mistakes, so I'll work on flow and such. Firstly, I agree that you need to ...

I really liked this piece. Hopefully you'll post the rest soon=]. I think every one else got all the mistakes. Well, Keep writing --Jess. thanks, jess. i'm glad you appreciated ...

Capital letters, yes. Watch that. Now, this was telly, but that was its charm. I liked the plot line a lot. The boy's character confused me a bit - why ...

It was good and I liked it. You were jumping between tenses often, though, please fix it. Well written, but REMEMBER YOUR CAPITALS!!!!!!! What was happening? Are you against capitals? ...

your story seems interesting enough for me to want to read more. Some of your grammar can be fixed when you re-read your way though it. And some of your ...

thanks for the suggestions. i know the first chapter isn't that good, because i just wrote it on a piece of paper yesterday morning, and i didnt have much time ...

well, it was nice.. why dont you try writing something genuine? instead of writing fanfiction, you can start something wonderful. it wa a great piece of work, only that..well..it's a ...