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Re: A poem for BGL
Are secret's are sins = “our secrets are sins” This is a great poem, "we" gives a very united feel, and I like how the issue of the poem isn't ...
Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:32 pm -
Re: Speak Now Chapter Two: Trying Times
First of all, when I saw your age I was extremely surprised - your writing is much more advanced than a fourteen year old The sentence about the ground being ...
Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:22 pm -
Re: Fly Away (Preface)
"my mother" do you mean "her mother"? the writing is third person so this sudden shift to first is confusing also "keck" should be "neck" love the hair as seaweed ...
Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:03 pm -
Re: I Love Her
Very nice story mostly because it was concise and straight to the point, several writers tend to make sentences too wordy and confusing. Your story was short and engaging, so ...
Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:54 pm -
Re: Fear of Fullfillment (prologue/chapter 1)
‘I once believed that a thousand biographies would be written, with me as their subject. But the biographies in libraries are only written about the good men. The men who ...
Wed Oct 27, 2010 6:09 pm -
Re: Red Balloon (Chapter 1)
‘She let her pencil fall across the page. Charlotte concentrated as she began…’ I would switch ‘she’ and ‘Charlotte’ around, so we know the character’s name straight away. When I ...
Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:52 pm
