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Alright, here we go. :smt077 The room was cold, the digital fire, nothing more than hot coals by now. Try this: The room was cold and the fire nothing more ...

Okay, it looks like you fixed a lot of things you were criticized on before so thats good. Let me just point out a few thing that still need some ...

Definitely add a divider between each part, it threw me off the first time i read it. Just a few mistakes: "But truth is? I like his shyness..." You don't ...

Thanks for the comment, Corey. Oh, I know it's kind of confusing at first. Its only the first chapter after all but I'm going to add more and then maybe ...

This isn't a review for just this piece. I just wanted to say that their are a lot of Sector 33 stories listed by you and maybe you should write ...

That was a wonderful poem. The only thing I would change would be the sentence: "Hope anew comes, " to maybe "Hope comes anew" just so it wont sound so ...

You seem to know what you like and don't like. Thats good. I am the opposite. If someone asks me what is my favorite color, even I know it is ...

Dang, real great work. My only criticism is probably not important but... heck, I will say it anyway. The cat gave him an irritated look and stalked halfway across the ...

Wow!! I didn't end up reading that very last sentence runawaythoughts posted till you mentioned it. That is really messed up. He better learn some respect... or else--> :smt062 Don't ...

all that would happen if you flick a book is that you'll hurt your finger. Ha ha ha. That's pretty darn funny. But don't you think you are being a ...

Hello Runawaythought, First of all, you should really put spaces between each paragraph. It would help the reviewers a lot. :wink: Let me just start off saying that I was ...

Thanks, Jared! :smt081

“I wiped the sweat [off] of my brow…” “Old and wise aren’t the same, Max[.]” “Max[,] it’s my shift[.]” “No Max[,] no more thoughts like that.” You forgot to put ...

I don't want to be a bother or anything ------> :cry: But any comments you can give on my story will be great. Thank you for your time, Trick------> :smt110

For the part with the friend in the car, I have to agree with ashleylee. We need more information on her. There were a couple of mistakes: "... us to ...