sylverdawn

Nice, I really liked it, I'd tone down the description a little but that's just my opinion. I hope you keep it up.

name- Azrayel age- 17 gender- male race- wilder elf/fairy appearance- country- Yurim personality- Ray is reckless and hot headed, he'll follow his heart before his head. Smart but rarely thinks ...

Azrayel- "I will not laugh. I will not laugh." It was funny the way Ian provoked Ari constantly. Shaking his head Ray answered Ian''s question. "The palace and the hall ...

*I'm still in, my internet crashed and I couldn;t get online.*

*agh! So much happened while my internet was down!* Azrayel- Ray was in his own chambers after talking with Damali's King. He wasn't smart but he cared about his people, ...

nice, a really good solid start. The memory is vivid, but I kind of got the feeling Haley was younger around eight or nine. Keep writing I'd like to read ...

*Sorry guys my internet crashed* Azrayel- They weren't human. They were like him, and yet not. It was strange not having to hide what he was. Then again, it could ...

Azrayel- Ray paced along the road, his cloak pulled up so that humans wouldn't realise what he was. He hated walking, preferring to fly, but he couldn't this close to ...

name- Azrayel (Ray) age- 17 gender- male race- Mazoku demon heir of- none appearance- personality- stubborn and reckless, even though Ray is smart he follows his heart before his head, ...

Really good, I like how you portrayed Dala and Theol, really sinister, and it's nice how part of the prologue is when she's younger, before she understands the world around ...

*I'll post my bio in a little while. Just claiming a spot.*

*Since I can't have two animals he'll be a lion hybrid. And when he jumped out the window he used his telekinesis to fly. Question do these guys have three ...

Very interesting. I bit confusing though with how you've spaced the paragraphs. Keep working on it it seems like an interesting and well thought out story.

Azrayel- "Well that went swimmingly." Yoru paced along the corridor, his sarcasm cut off when Ray and Taiou chimed together. "Shut up Yoru," Ray had finished treating his injuries, and ...

Azrayel- "Doesn't anyone else find it wierd that so many people hit with the virus ended up in the same place at the same time? I played the game for ...