sylverdawn

*This is my first attempt at adventure fiction, I usually write fantasy. So bear with me if it's horrible. I'm trying to decide on a specific plot for the book ...

*so is this an aerial battle.* Azrayel/Crysilla- Ray crouched on Yoru's back as the dragon released ice blasts. In no time the large manicure lawn was transformed into an ice ...

*sounds interesting, but they shouldn't get away with everything.*

Crysilla- "They're not the ones who are trapped Dark Knight, you are." Cris' voice was cold, as she walked in from talking to with Ren, she took the scene in ...

Nice beginning I liked her escape, but It would be nice if you described the characters, more, I mean I'm drawing a blank on faces really. And it would be ...

Really nice, it makes for a good prologue. You have a good concept of hierarchy, and how the wolf pack would deal justice. Personally I thought the pendants were a ...

Azrayel- Ray glanced around the room, searching for the one thing that the others would have missed. He smiled slightly as he found what he was looking for. Gripping his ...

As a prologue it's nicely done and interesting. But as far as I can tell the skips between time and place are stilted and I didn't really see any connection ...

I only read the first two chapters but it seems like an interesting story, I like Ivy and Lyss characters. They seem to click together, even though their races are ...

Interesting, it's a good start and catches the interest of the reader. Even though its short it brings up plenty of questions. Who is Caolyn? Why was she sent on ...

Azrayel/Crysilla- Marodomin regarded Ray with a wry smile. "You don't trust me." He observed. "I don't trust anyone." Ray snapped. "My mother was obsessed with the weapons, to the extant ...

*one issue, Cris is a girl. And Ray uses a pair of scimitars as his weapons of choice.* Azrayel/Crysilla- "Dammit." Ray tore part of his shirt and wrapped it around ...

*sweet, this looks good^_^* Azrayel/Crysilla- Something was happening in the palace, Ray glanced upwards glaring through the cavern's ceiling. Yoru and Taiou were swooping around the underground lake.

Azrayel/Crysilla- Cris jumped up and pulled Ray from his seat. "Then Ray and I will bunk together in the Prince's suite." She pulled him out the door, while Ray waved ...

I know this is confusing at first. The idea is that Rhys is a being of light or literally the Light. The Shadow is his polar opposite, Rhys is in ...