sokool15

Once again...wow. I am truly amazed at your talent. Congrats. This was part of the one you started posting chapters for, isnt' it? Did you decide not to post the ...

Wow...I am really surprised that someone your age could write something like this. It's very bitter, and sad, and it manipulates the readers emotions. I must tell you, I am ...

Okay, well if this is the unedited version, I won't bother to point out the very few little mistakes I saw. Great, intriguing story! There were a couple of extremely ...

and great personality consisting of flexibility, cleverness, kindness, responsibility, intelligence, and every other redeeming quality you could think of. A great personality consisting of...that seem

Sometimes the things you most wish for are not to be touched. I shook my head and tried to get the voice out of my brain. The harder to get ...

8/10 Deep, but not profound. heh heh other words, it sounds like it should be meaningful, but really it's not, if you dissect it.

Yes, that's much better. Thank you. And I would agree with Trident, about how Kath's friend should have a reason for coming over...except for this: there is already an undercurrent ...

Wow...this was really well written. I liked it a lot! You have some very clever, deep sentences in there. I like how you hint subtly that some tragedy has happened, ...

This is extremely well written, and I couldn't find any grammatical errors, punctuation mistakes or spelling errors. One thing...the paragraph where she stretches out her sienna legs and talks about ...

Oooo...dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee...DWEEEEEP!!! (for those of you who don't read music, that was the theme from 'twilight zone.') I really enjoyed reading this. I don't ...

Wow....this was really, really great. I watched the Phantom of the Opera for the first time last night, and cried *of course*. The piece you have written has really reincarnated ...

I didn't absolutely hate Eragon...and you have to admit, he was very young when he sketched out the plot, and probably still in the middle of reading all those books ...

What do you think of this as a beginning for another story? I would use this to kind of...introduce it, and then have a different story next. I want to ...

Wow, I really loved this. Perhaps it should have been in 'romantic fiction,' just because the strongest theme is unconquerable love, but still...a beautiful piece. One sentence: "I rushed over ...

Good sequel...I'm glad you decided to keep going on it. An interesting idea: to start with the diary-style, a transition letter, then a more narative, third-person style. It changes perspectives ...