sokool15

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~Roy Ah, something I think was a mistake, that doensn't make sense here: "Closing her mouth and banishing , Sam told Anna to wait a few minutes while she finished ...

I like this a lot! Once again. Um...let's see. One awkward part that I didn't like: "Regaining reason, Sam told Anna to wait a few minutes while she finished helping ...

Ha! I like this. They are very intelligent seven year olds, and Evie is bitter for one so young! It seems like she would be more confused and bewildered than ...

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Hee hee, I have a character in a story I'm writing named Dominic. I like it so far...I take it this is from the middle of your novel? If it's ...

I liked this! Congratulations on a piece well done. I do agree with what the others say, but I enjoyed reading it nonetheless. Did you say there was more? Lead ...

I hate myself. Oh, lord, I hate myself so much I could puke. Oh...I am puking. Great. Leaning over the railing, I tried to calm my heaving stomach by watching ...

*tee hee* don't worry, I didn't get the impression that they were eating him. I really liked the story, and besides the whole discussion about age, it was excellently done! ...

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I like this story overall. However, I think it may move too fast. You've just started to introduce Roberto's jealousy, and suddenly he's kissing her? I don't think it's too ...

Mad. Crazy. Insane. You know the raggedy old man who stopped you on the street, trembling hands stretched out in mute desperation? That's me. I'm the one you see with ...

I like this! And I would agree that the prologue should be worked in later, but the problem is you have to know that Heather knows that she has a ...

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Tee hee...only one thing I found: "Panting and slobbering all over the place." It's not fable language. Panting, maybe, but not slobbering, and not 'all over the place.' Think of ...