sokool15

Hmmm...this is pretty good! The total lack of dialogue made it just a tiny bit difficult to get through, but then, if there's only one character in the story so ...

'Lo, Beck! Pleased to have you with us...we have fun here. I write lyrics with my brother, sometimes...lol, check out '9 out of 11 ain't bad' it's really dumb. I'm ...

I actually started a story like this, and I've read other books (Bartimaeus trilogy) like that as well. It actually works really well because it gives you more scope for ...

*removed*

Interesting...very interesting! Well, congrats on hooking me into it. It's short, even for a prologue, but I guess that's okay. It doesn't need to be long to say what you ...

Oooooh, interesting! I think I'll keep reading this. Intriguing, exciting, and well done on keeping and stirring the reader's interest. It started well, with beautiful descriptions, and then abruptly

This is good! I haven't read the rest of the story, but perhaps I will, now. Your writing style flowed very well, and was easy to read. Your dialogue was ...

DUDE! NOOOOOO!!! Don't stop! *whimpers* :P That would be like a sign, you're giving up! I mean, I can crit if you want, but I've already read it... Anyway, why ...

Oh, wow....lol, that was amazing. *squints in jealousy at your writing style* I agree with what the other critiquers said...when you've got Snoink and Claudette on the job, what is ...

'llo, luv! Yeah, if you're insane, even normally insane, you'll fit right in. Well, as the french say, "Those who resemble assemble" (except in french) I like insane people, so ...

Hi! Welcome, luv... :smt039 I'm SoKool, but you can call me The Kool One or the Queen of Denial, if you want. Sometimes people call me the Genius, but then ...

Nancy blinked at the girl...how strange to be talking to someone. Nancy knew that Apis talked to her because she liked to stir up trouble and thought Nancy was a ...

I think what you need to do is separate the flashbacks a was somewhat confusing, but easily fixed, I think. You had the present, then a flashback, then the present ...

OOh, I really liked this! Good was an intriguing story. You should continue this... One thing: I don't remember what I thought like when I was ten, but I don't ...

One...Me! hah hah, I remember that one from a children's tape we got once.