sokool15

A/N. Lol..wrote this at about midnight last night, so that explains the bizarre weirdness. It takes place in the U.S., and if you don't know at least a tiny bit ...

Okay, good chapter! Good! And believe me, you don't have to wait to post your other chapters...I don't think I could bear the tension! If this was a book I'd ...

When I had fell. I agree with the others, but just wanted to point out that your grammar isn't correct here...when I had fell? Read it out loud and perhaps ...

Wow, okay...person above me pretty much covered everything. That's one heck of a critique! Pretty much a good chapter. I do like the first person a lot - it's much ...

Cool, it's all good...the only problem I can find with it is that the first two paragraphs were a little bit of an info dump and there wasn't a lot ...

Lucky me, I went to bed at tenthirty with no intention of ever waking up. I figure I'll just put in my hours of writing at a reasonable time and ...

All right, awesome! I love the way you're developing this story (although i am wondering how a romance will blossom here - everybody hates everybody else!) and you're doing much ...

Awwww...don't take out chapter 32, it's SO sweet! Sorry I've lost touch with this story for a while...homework overwhelms me at the moment. On the other hand, I'm rather glad ...

*removed*

*wild scream* I wrote a hugely wonderful critique, and then my computer ate it! ACK!!! :cry: :evil: *deep breath* okay, let's try this again. :x David caught the girl before ...

It seems as if people should think about that before they even submit their stories...if they don't want to be critiqued, why do they submit them in the first place? ...

Ooohhh. truly creepy. NOooo! Just because I'm the only one interested doesn't mean you should deprive me of hte pleasure of reading it! And one person's opinion is better than ...

He studied the place where he had called home for several centuries. Lol, that sentence made me giggle! IF he's so weak and needs to feed so badly, why in ...

Yes, it really needs to be longer...right now I don't believe it's even one page. I've read books with very short chapters, but they're always at least more than one ...

Awww....*blushes and giggles* I feel recognized. :wink: Do you know the rules for dialogue punctuation? Since I don't want to waste a bunch of space and time typing them out ...