snoopysoap

hey...this was really good! keep writting! i couldn't find anything that needed changing. it was awesome! if you need a review just pm me... i liked this heaps! Soap :thud:

thanks guys... i'll try to fix it...don't know what i'm going to do with that line though O.o i'll figure something out eventually

yeah...its acctually al lone chapter, i just didn't want to put all of chapter one in otherwise it would take FOREVER!

i dont know about other readers but i found this hard to get into. it needs something to get the reader interested. a hook. another thing. with your dialogue... how ...

thanks megsug...yeah u can review the other ones if you want

hmmm. not sure what this is ment to be, though i must say it is...different. explain more about what it is i guess. needs more imagery (that is if you're ...

this was nice. i liked it. you could probably put some paragraphs or something in there, instead of it being just one big block (though im not one to talk...working ...

i'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this seems like your forcing the rhyming thing a bit, it stops and starts. the flow is disrupted i guess. it's a nice ...

Mystery Man You make my heart soar It grows wings And flies away, Over the moon, Over to you. It sings inside me, And out to you. Humming happily away, ...

As I walked down the pockmarked and deformed footpath, I started singing under my breath to the music pumping out of the headphones stuffed into my ears, not actually concentrating ...

i decided that i wanted this to be a short story. but somehow i think its going to be a bit more than that. here goes nothing. review to your ...

hey megsug. this is my novel that i think is really bad cause i has no idea what im doing. review to your hearts content.

this is a very....diferent piece, it's sort of like poetry.... O.o i found it sort of detached, i got lost too...what happened to make her get in the place she ...

hey, loved this...i woud defineatly read on... its vey spontanious...entertaing. you had a few typos there to... you said landscaped instead of landscape :p keep writing, i loved it. who ...

Dinner came and went but Josh didn’t come back and the boy across the way remained immobile. A few days later I was staring out the window; it was raining ...