smaur

Er, what Adam101 and Dammerung said. This is way too rushed, to the extent that the reader isn't able to form a clear picture of the scene. You've glossed over ...

Let's take a look at the first couple of paragraphs: Sara looked around her room. In terms of opening lines, this does not entice me to read further. It's not ...

Stuff you should keep in mind: - Formatting. Egads, people. It's really very simple. Crayon said it, too — space your paragraphs properly and more people will be willing to ...

A mixture of creeping and interesting. Hurray! Some notes: - Azure. Heheh. I can't help but picture him spangled in glittery blue sequins. ;) The demon is delightfully eccentric and ...

I will make various exclamatory incoherent noises and wild hand gestures because this is so much freaking better than Wraith . I'm not going to critique this, or fishr's story ...

Lol, Crys, I almost feel apologetic for sending you all of that...I meant to break it up. Hmm. If I could only learn how to *edit* posts... Upper right-hand corner ...

First paragraph: “You know I only want the best for you” he said with a guilty conscience. There should be a comma after "you", before the end of the quotation ...

Éloeré >> Succinct and articulate. You summed it up pretty much perfectly. Thanks.

Bumping this so it'll land on the "Recent Topics" and hopefully people won't forget. :P My memory is horrible, but I'll click every week if (when?) I remember.

Okay! Thanks, guys, for reading it (or not reading it, as the case may be :P ... bookworm_9867 — perhaps you could elaborate on why it was confusing/boring?) despite my ...

Help, you say? :twisted: Well, then, here goes ... First of all — the storm. We don't have the preceding passages, so I'm wondering; do you describe the storm before ...

Something from the Nanowrimo forums. If your characters could vent at you in letter form, what would they say? ETA: Poor Imp made a good point. They don't all have ...

My dear, there's always the distinct possibility that the writing won't work out. I'm not saying you're a bad writer; I'm saying it's a cutthroat industry and it's not always ...

smaur - I obviously rule. - Didn't we go over this already. :D We did? ... wait, so do I rule? *glee*

Rei >> It is geared towards high fantasy — but then again, high fantasy is the subgenre most teeming with clichés. The point of the exam isn't so much a ...