smashles

I liked it. Short poems are always better than really long ones. I also agree with the thing about the I's at the start of the lines.

Damn... I hate it when people succeed in defeating me. I feel shamed. Not shamed enough to stop talking to you though :)

wait... what? I'm confused... It's not original it is original? That makes my head spin. And good guess. :D

More, more, more! That's a really cool start to a story. You've really drawn me in and I'd love to see more. The only problem I found with it was ...

Maddy! How did you know it was me? Is it because I told you about the nickname Kaylie gave me? (my user name) Mmmm how original is you're name? Only ...

Sad. I agree about the line variation. I think you could maybe use a bit more... imagery or something just because it doesn't have a lot of feeling for a ...

Before you read this I'd like to note that this was originally written as song lyrics without a tune. I'd also like to say nothing like this has ever happened ...

LOVED the imagery. Parts were a little confusing, like when you said the part about when his head fell from his body... The way you described his appearance was very ...

I enjoyed it but I disagree about the rhyming part. Guenevere is said how it's spelt, and therefore does not rhyme with fair. It was a succinct way of describing ...

That's really cool. Humerous and witty. He sounds a bit like me... I eat a lot :D

Most of the invitees were blissfully unaware of the scandal taking place at the wedding. Not bothering to keep their voices down, the guests were chatting away happily, listening to ...

Favourite author: Ally Carter. She writes some really good spy novels. Favourite type of music: Pop, but I think Country's kind of cool too. Apples or Bananas: Apples Ice cream ...

I'm new too and haven't really had much experience with these things. My sister's name is Emily! And I'm Ashleigh by the way, not smashles. My favourite countries Belgium, because ...

I only joined YWS yesterday, so hopefully I can figure out the basics soon enough. I'm not much of a writer usually, but I've been getting into it heaps lately. ...

It's a good story line but the grammar wasn't very good and it put me off. I like how it started with a letter, and the descriptions are really good. ...