smashles

This was so good, I don't know what to say. It just flows really well, and I think the poems that don't rhyme are always better for descriptions like this ...

I like this poem/song. I love the way you describe all of this persons' features because it just seems like something people actually think to themselves about people they love. ...

The corridor was dark and cold and the click of Mist’s heels echoed throughout it. There were no windows and it was made of black stone. Mist looked around at ...

This is a cute poem. I think that even though it doesn't have a lot of description it still tells us a story. She is obviously in love with this ...

Thanks everyone for the positive comments! I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that walking beneath the wooden floors means that the narrator and the child are ...

Thanks heaps! :) I know the last line is a little weird but it was difficult to find a way to end it, especially so that it still rhymed.

Take my hand And I'll take yours As we walk beneath The wooden floors We'll kill the monster That scares you at night Don't worry my child I'll get rid ...

OMG! These are such beautiful lyrics! It makes me sad to just think about this message! I'm sure with a perfect tune, this song could be absolutely amazing. The best ...

Hey there inkwell! It's a pretty good poem you've got going there, though it was a tad confusing... I like the wording you used and I'm guessing it's a little ...

Hey emalily! Okay so basically this is a pretty basic storyline... The conversation thye had was a bit... too random. Try making it flow a bit better. Loved the first ...

Mist walked with as much grace as she could muster down the red-carpet aisle. Her long veil was hiding her emotions, but she smiled at everyone anyway, just in case ...

Hey hey, it's smashles here to review! Okay so first up it's got a very good storyline to it. He sounds like a very lonely man. Secondly, you need to ...

Hey there, emalily! Welcome to YWS! You sound like a very... honest person! As your sister and guide, I would just like to say, have lots of fun with this ...

Hey there, matio! Just a few things! 1. No biggie, but you put 'of' instead of 'off'. 2. The amount of syllables in each line is a bit varied. Make ...

Thanks everyone for the ideas! I have taken everyone's advice into account and so now it is edited. Since everyone keeps asking, the bridesmaid dress is ugly because the bride ...