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Re: insert coin
You get an authentic, working cannon! Alas, you have no cannonballs, so your cannon is useless due to your sad, sad lack of ammunition. *inserts coin*
Jun 5, 2010 -
Re: Funny Story About Dilapidated
Oh. My. Gosh. THANK GOODNESS IT'S NOT JUST ME!!! :'D I read a lot, so I know some words that don't come up in everyday conversation, which means I've never ...
Jun 5, 2010 -
Re: Dawn & Dusk Ch. 1
'and I look over to where that spot Mom used to be at every day after school' should be something like, 'to where Mom used to be every day after ...
Jun 5, 2010 -
Re: Balema
'pushing it over with its draws' drawers 'large silver buildings stretched onto their toes to catch their own bit of sun.' I understand that you're speaking figuratively, but how are ...
Jun 5, 2010 -
Re: Hello - read it,or the evil unicorns will eat you
NOT THE EVIL UNICORNS?! O.O I thought I'd lost them for good that time when I faked my own death in New Zealand... I had hoped they'd never find me... ...
Jun 4, 2010 -
Re: The Heavy Weight of The Grass
Some punctuation errors - proofreading =
Jun 4, 2010 -
Re: What random thing did you do today?
Well, lets see... Ah! Yesterday was my 16th birthday. Woot! ^^ And even though my brothers both got balloons and a paper sign by their door on their birthdays, and ...
Jun 4, 2010 -
Re: Saving Lilly-Beginning redone
'Its bright yellow exterior glowing brightly against the dreary town'. First, this is not a sentence. It can't stand on its own. It needs to be fused with the sentence ...
Jun 4, 2010 -
Re: My name is silent pages... You killed my father... ;)
@ Dreamy: Yeah, I like Harry Potter. ^^ The first ones more than the last few... I think Goblet of Fire was my favorite, and then I didn't like the ...
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: The Jewel circle
Use them to decorate a pen! Or the hilt of a knife! XD A tinfoil one, of course... ;)
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: Untitled Prologue
Couple punctuation mistakes... 'After the chalice was filled, the woman partake of the liquid' Partook. The group fell to the ground, and then they began to flee? How? Did they ...
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: 360,000 words in 90 Days?
Without counting weekends? o.o I envy your summer vacation... T-T I lived in a state where school never started until after labor day - in September. Then last year I ...
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: The Thunderbolt Chronicles (TEST)
'The forest that was teeming with animals, tall trees and green plants' Was once teeming. Hmm... Just wondering. Is it considered 'smart' to drink dirty-looking water from a stream on ...
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: The Ringbearers - Prologue and Chapter 1, Part 1
This is good! Intriguing... I'd like to see more. :) I didn't notice a whole lot of errors, and the way your characters speak is very natural. 'It happened. Really' ...
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: The Lake House/ Chapter 1 (Edited, again)
A few spelling/punctuation errors. 'Out of anger' Wait, why is she angry? She may be embarrassed, ashamed, worried, mortified... But what/who is she angry at? 'My book bag was yanked ...
Jun 2, 2010
