sicklee

I really like this! It feels very honest to me, so it's probably good that you left it as your first draft. I really see where you're coming from. Only ...

I adore "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and certainly see the resemblance! This definitely conveys a lot of the emotional confusion of the original work. However, I do ...

Tin foil beating against sugar, Mentally, physically, collegiately; It’s a smooth ride down, but you should Cover your rock scrapes. Swaying, just brushing the brittle brick wall, I remember its ...

I agree with BlueAfrica about the cliche - you use many throughout the poem and I think you could do well to add your own imagery as to what love ...

This is adorable! I agree with the above comment that having YWS on its own line in the first stanza is a little awkward. 'moon shine'. I'm KatTrain of YWS, ...

This might be a dumb question or it might have been answered before, but how is the number of points you are awarded for each review determined? Thanks!

First of all - good job! The poem itself is beautiful and paints a lovely picture. My criticisms will be extremely nitpicky, but bear with me. They're really quite small ...

Pretty please? :D

You were a deep twelve year-old! This is really insightful considering your age - I'm surprised you were able to get your thoughts down so coherently back then. The rhyming ...

I love the italics - they really give you a voice. I like that you didn't use punctuation - it adds to the emotion - but I think you should ...

Most of what I would have to say about this has been said. The emotion is real, but it's hidden behind your rather forced rhymes. I think you could do ...

They say after heartbreak, a haircut. A clean slate for every mistake. But now I've no hair left for cutting, And even less heart left to break.