shotgun2983

I love stories with plagues and virises! Theres just so much you can do as far as a storyline goes. Well, I can say that this is a very strong ...

Wow. I like it so far. I think it should be a little longer and you should explain it a little more, without giving away to much. In the prologue, ...

I agree with Silly Sudstix, you should add each chapter separately to reduce sloppieness. Excuse my spelling, haha. It makes it hard to read. It becomes a little overwhelming. Other ...

LOL! This was hilarious Jab! I was just looking through your portfolio for something to crit and I found this! It's hilarious! Great job. -Joel-

Okay, I liked this. I felt like it some of the lines didn't flow very well. You also wrote An angel that sings your heartache entwined with yours I don't ...

I'm not really sure what to think. I liked the overall story and the way you presented it, but I was confused at times. There were times when I couldn't ...

I enjoyed this. Good job, Jab pretty much covered all the errors. Good job, and keep it up. -Joel-

Uuummm... this was good. Part 1 with Russell could have been longer and better explained, but part 2 was fine. There were no gramatical errors, and I think you could ...

I like this, it expresses a lot of emotion without making the story boring or unpleasent to read. I couldn't find any real gramatical errors. All I can say is ...

Wow Jab, this is deep and very emotional. Good job.

I enjoyed reading this, but at times I was a little confused at who was talking or narrating. Other then that, it had a solid story except for the dedication. ...

Welcome back! What Lupe said is right by the way

I thought it was good except for the phrase Like stumbling across some tombs I'm not really sure what that means, but the enitre poem is kind of creppy.

Wow, this was really good. Besides a few gramatical errors, it was perfect. “Why, on earth, would I do that?” I asked, watching my little sisters duke it out I ...

This was really good and I enjoyed reading it. I couldn't really find anything wrong with it besides a few commas that shouldn't have been there. I look forward to ...