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Re: The Horror of Math
Black numbers on pages before me, Their meaning I could not see. I sat for hours, numb to my knees, Pencil idle in hand, searching for keys, For solutions to ...
Jan 4, 2011 -
Re: The Larks of Narcissus
Thanks for the wonderful comments! I do agree that some lines were a bit long, but I couldn't quite figure out how to fix them while keeping their original meaning... ...
Jan 4, 2011 -
Re: Broken Table
Kingdoms far and legions wide Shrivel like raisins with fear. You, the broken table, scarred and heart sunken, See that their legs too are broken. I like the imagery in ...
Jan 4, 2011 -
Re: Broken Table
Broken table, oh how the Seer wishes to greet thee, Waiting at your doorstep on bended knee, Yet your merwood legs do not walk. How will you answer the call ...
Jan 3, 2011 -
Re: The Larks of Narcissus
Witching hour has come again, The clock strikes, two plus ten. My sleepless eyes see not the dark But far beyond, to the land of larks. I see fully the ...
Dec 25, 2010 -
Re: demons (prose poem)
I had to read through this a few times before I got the gist of what you’re trying to say. The block of words is admittedly quite intimidating and the ...
Dec 25, 2010 -
Re: Suicide
I read your poem, then read through the reviews people have given you previously and was pleased to notice that you have edited your poem accordingly! :) As it stands ...
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: Father Winter
Trees drip in diamond ice, The stars mimic their glitter. I can't help but remember your smiling eyes, And how they would glisten when it snowed. Gorgeous imagery in the ...
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: 2 lost murdered souls (villanelle form)
Yes, it should be "wandering", not "wondering". With thoughts of what we’ve loved but lost, that ships tears down our faces. Are you using "ships" as a synonym for "sends"? ...
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: Disquietude
There’s not much to talk about today, It’s one of those times Of idle Silence. Not awkward silence, no, But Silence. I wonder if you understand How loud that Silence ...
Dec 20, 2010 -
Re: I'm All Your Living For
All because I want you, Our faces are a lunar eclipse, All because I wish I could, Kiss you on your lips. I really like "lunar eclipse" part - whereas ...
Dec 20, 2010 -
Re: Crickets
I love the imagery too! Great flow, and rhyme really works wonders here. I think this might be even more amazing if set to song, although it's already beautiful as ...
Dec 20, 2010 -
Re: The Sun.
I like it :) It has a cheerful feel to it. I'm definitely missing the sun too this winter, which makes me appreciate your poem all the more. I'm a ...
Dec 20, 2010 -
Re: A Bitter Beauty
I love the theme of your poem and your great use of imagery! One of my favourite phrases is "a decrepit museum of how false beauty/truly aged" - there's a ...
Dec 20, 2010
