shadepelt

Chapter One - Ivy Mushrooms dotted the rotting undergrowth, willow branches danced into my way, my necklace bobbed in the hollow of my throat, but I didn’t care. I had ...

Okay, first of all, amazing storyline. I think it needs a bit more development for the setting, and where Vaddy is, but other than that, you're off to a good ...

Maybe you weren't paying attention, because it was like your hands were just acting for your mind. That happens to me and I end up spelling: "Viy went ott he ...

Incredible! everyone else already pointed out some of my grammar critiques, and now for idea. I thought it was stupendous! it's not like any other vampire story (I'm assuming she ...

I began walking faster, making the circle a bit wider. I crouched down, almost like a tiger hunting her prey, and flew upwards, still circling. “Not fair! Harrison can’t fly.” ...

Chapter One - Ivy Mushrooms dotted the rotting undergrowth, willow branches danced into my way, my necklace bobbed in the hollow of my throat, but I didn’t care. I had ...

I'm going to make a new post for this...everything I have added recently will be on it, and it will be called Broken Wings-Part Two

I didn't see much wrong with it, and I thought it was great! You didn't just say things like "this is blaze, this is onyx, blahblahblah," your work was very ...

Thanks for everyone's tips. I have added a ton, and I hope now there is more action, and that it's a bit more informative and descriptive. I've tried to follow ...

it's incredible. you better post 2/2 or I will set my attack kittens on you! ;)

this is really good so far. Very interesting and a nice combo of romance/action. I've still only read chap. 1, so bear with me if I ask questions answered in ...

these are really great lyrics! they are amazing, and I can just imagine them to some celtic beat. There is nothing to critique about!

"What?" I asked unconcernedly I would say “indifferently”, unconcernedly sounds a little weird I jumped as I heard my name being shouted.I had been so absorbed in a book that ...

I won't point out a ton of mistakes, because I think the others already did that pretty well, however, I have a few comments: first of all, great story line. ...

Flemzo, added a title, it's not very good, but I wanted to write some more. Also, your questions will be answered in my added parts later.