sezPez

Thank you. :) And Amelia, I figured the poem was short and it would feel kind of stretched if I split it up in stanzas. I used the semi-colons to ...

I was the spirit of a paper fly that travels briefly but to kiss the sky; I was the flotsam and jetsam of dreams, tattered by the sea and thrown ...

If you were going for an eerie tone, you certainly achieved it. Even though the protagonist (is it a protagonist in a poem?) denies Lucifer, I thought that these lines ...

The tone of this piece is very pleasant and innocent. I can almost imagine that this was written by a five-year-old learning about everything for the first time (not that ...

I very much like the premise of this poem...I think comparing the heart to sand is apt because, as you say, it can be as soft as sand or hardened ...

Fourteen lashes to the soles of my feet, fourteen lashes for my soul to keep. In the fine breathing dust of sandstorms - I pray my lungs don't collapse in ...

I liked the first half of the poem a lot since it seems to reflect what I suppose a psychopath might think like. The central theme you were aiming for ...

It looked just like any other desert that you would imagine or find in the pages of a nature magazine. Sand, always full of sand, few cacti here and there ...

In a silence, stunned in a way the audience, in a theater of a play watching actors front each other as faceless facades for a masquerade with reflections of heaven ...

I wrote this on a flurry late at night and got a little too sleepy/lazy to read over it completely, so thanks for letting me know which parts needs some ...

An old man with old magic tricks sat next to a bench, on the ground where a flower used to bloom, succumbing to the winter chill. On the bench sat ...

Hmm...what I'm getting from this is that the bats represent the excitement and confusion of junior high romance, and that it's written in retrospect from when you find your muse. ...

Thinly veiled blinded ghosts parading through streets at midnight clueless, following the stars losing astronomy to every light. The street lamps aren’t afraid but only when they cannot see that ...

The rhythm irked me a little, especially since the second and third stanzas were verbose compared to the first one. Try adjusting your sentence lengths and the beat of the ...

Wouldn't The Fool be a little too melancholy to be a ringtone though? I'd put Untitled as my ringtone (and watch people go "...bagpipes? Bagpipes?!"). I'm normally horrible when it ...