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Re: Sicily
This story is okay, but it rambles on a bit. Punctuation, diolouge, literation - the whole lot is great - it just isn't the best story to read. I cannot ...
Dec 4, 2007 -
Re: High Beams
Nice - wasn't expecting that kind of story at all - a neat little surprise. Good idea, nice pace. . . but the ending was a little weak. The last ...
Dec 4, 2007 -
Re: Hitchhikers Guide Style Story
this was great!!!! When u said it was going to be in the style of HHGTTG, i was "oh oh" - but it turned into "oh! oh!" wow! made me ...
Dec 4, 2007 -
Re: The Prologue to My Book. Duty Calls.
I liked this one! and Rodax was so cool! - wasn't expecting that! i really enjoyed the beginning - reminded me of Andy McNab, Matthew Reily and the guy that ...
Dec 4, 2007 -
Re: Chapter One of Duty Calls Part Three
“You have a personal life?” Rodax started, unable to help himself. *LAUGHS* “Mercenary! That‘s quite enough. You‘re upsetting me.” Baalith shouted. --- SOUNDS SILLY. I MEAN, WHEN I SHOUT T
Dec 4, 2007 -
Re: Chapter One of Duty Calls Part Two
Rodax perked up. It was his daughter, then, was it? The blonde from the pictures? Well this was interesting... --- NICE USE OF LANGUAGE He felt a rising tide of ...
Dec 4, 2007 -
Re: Chapter One of Duty Calls Part Two
Rodax perked up. It was his daughter, then, was it? The blonde from the pictures? Well this was interesting... --- NICE USE OF LANGUAGE He felt a rising tide of ...
Dec 4, 2007 -
Re: UPDATED:Chapter 1 of Duty Calls Part One
Politician’s offices are all the same; even on Antina. --- MAYBE EXPLAIN WHERE ANTINA IS? Every 8 pictures or so --- USE WORDS FOR NUMBERS BELOW 100 Looking closer, Rodax ...
Dec 4, 2007 -
Re: Lady Ifrit: Chapter I: Sanctuary
Hey, good story - but. . . *laughs* yeah, there's ALWAYS a but, I found the "he, him, his" repetitive. . . in the first paragraph alone, there are 8 ...
Dec 4, 2007