seeminglymeaningless

-------- okaaaaayyyyy............ whatever ----------- Cayman stood up looking around him; what the hell? He and the "stallion-cross-pony" were on the oval still. It seemed not even a second had passe

----------- **** Just so Maybe and WriterChick13 know, if you guys spring a "trap" on Kahlak and the Kender, don't expect to get away scott-free. Seriously. Be prepared to continue ...

nice story! only a few things. . . . You used the word "wee" more than what is probably acceptable in what can only be a page and a quarter ...

aussie aussie aussie!!!! QLD scrubber at your service! hey you're new! Welcome to YWS! (aka Old Balding Writer's Society - courtesy of Snoink) gonna go and check out your page ...

The Prince saw and heard Rorick fall to the ground. "RORICK??!!!?" The Prince ran over to the fallen page, whatever spell had been cast on him shattered, as he realized ...

ok. *winces* harsh and maddening. I see your point as regards to the descriptions, but I was aiming for a Richard Laymonesque writing, not actual, full blown, JRR Tolkien over ...

Prologue I THE GAME BEGINS “God hasn’t been proven not to exist, so therefore he must exist.” - Sid Mier’s - Alpha Centauri HALL OF THE GODS SOME TIME, SOME ...

*laughs* yuck! this is great! disgusting, but great! *curious* did this happen to a "friend of a friend"? the beginning sucked me in immediately, and the rest was just as ...

. . . potatoes! Singing dancing, twirling potatoes! They're begging me to take a bite. Urging me to cook them in boiling water for mash. Pleading for me to fry ...

*I'll bring you in here, Billy (Tyler)* Billy Ray watched the girl dance in the street after crawling out of the wreck that had been a plane, "You think she's ...

*lolz yes - Dragonlance was the best, eh?*

---- maybe half-troll Prince Charming gallivanted around the ballroom, dancing with an imaginary partner, "Yes! And dee. . . and dah! And one step. . . two step. . . ...

first: I agree with Ayra - what's the go with the spacing? *I'm going to format this into the way it should be* second - here's the mistakes I found: ...

hey hint - this is too long. if you break it up into parts (example: part 1 of chapter 1), people will be more inclined to read it and critique ...