sday1607

These elusive words Jumping, hurtling around the room; bouncing, rebounding off of the walls; crashing, fracturing through the ceiling; ideas glide, ghosting around my head. Ideas of love, loss, despe

Cheers everyone for the comments, nice to see that you all liked it - although any critiques are welcome! :P

I promise. “I, take you, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in ...

Short but sweet. I like. :P I love the use of semi-colons in the first stanza, it really helps the rhythm to speed up, and then stop abruptly with the ...

I have absolutely no idea what its about, but completely disagree with the last comment. I think the line breaks are imperative to the suspense and dragging the reader in, ...

I loved it, the imagery was amazing. I also loved how, although the rhyme scheme altered throughout the poem, it somehow managed to fit and added an air of abstractness. ...

Unrequited Bit by bit I gave myself to you. Three Michelin stars. Strange menu. First course: jellied eyes, accompanied with grilled asparagus tips. If only you could see what I ...

Good concept, the rhyme and structure seems very forced. I'd try a poem without worrying about rhyme/structure and just let the creative juices flow. It seems that you've got a ...

I liked the concept, but the last lines seemed to mess up the rhythm with being too long. I like how you never reveal the person, but it's blatantly obvious ...

This is my style of writing, and its pretty damn good. Again, formatting it into stanzas and enjambements would give it structure and improve it. The beginning of every line ...

Really, very, very good. Only critique would be the change in rhythm at the ends of stanzas 2 and 3. It slows it down and means that the crescendo of ...

An Oasis in the desert. Little by Little I start a revolution from my bed. The champagne supernova Living forever in its Morning Glory. Lord don’t slow me down I’m ...

The other dreams I have of you are a fantasy, fallacy, farce, figment of my imagination – unrealistic, idealistic, optimistic. But this is different. I’m alive, kicking. A force of ...