sday1607

Firstly, Sapphire, awesome retelling of a fairy tale- love the other perspective and how you challenge the traditional tale. Executed really well too! I especially liked the description and imagery ...

Any critiques are much appreciated :), and will try to be returned.

Ok....the main critique is gonna be about the structure (the content is good but undermined by the uneven line length and forced rhyme). Is it all one stanza? I would ...

Chapter One: Step one: ‘A metaphor is like a simile’ ~ Author Unknown. Boom. I love a story that grips you, from the very first word. An explosion of ideas ...

Wow, I have to say, that was pretty impressive, I'd be pretty happy with that... :P It's relevant to modern day, a dystopia similar to the style of '1984' and ...

My puddle I often think I see life through a puddle: distorted, larger than life, fragile. The slightest disruption breaks it, obscuring pools of spreading water leak into my vision. ...

Hey black star, I didn't really understand the context too brilliantly - was it from a group of poems? Or was it something symbolic I missed? (probably the latter) :P ...

Wow, thats really good - I don't really like critiquing lyrics without any music to accompany them, but I can really tell that it is gonna be something pretty special. ...

Its really nice, its really good how it's quite short but filled with imagery and meaning. The only nitpicking is the capitalisation of some words, but like yours with mine, ...

One - Mitch Guayaquil Airport, Ecuador 4 months later Mitchell Thermann was hit by a blast of hot air as he exited the aircraft. The dense, humid air clung to ...

I took into account what you guys said (thanks for the advice by the way) and I got rid of the cliches and tried to make the poem run a ...

That Lucifer Girl With a heavy heart I regret to inform you... Your eyes don’t sparkle like a star, glistening in a night sky. Your smile doesn’t light up a ...

I'm making my way through it gradually :P It seems Esme has said just about EVERYTHING, :P, so I'm not left with a lot to write... The only thing is ...

I think it's a great poem, and I',m really struggling to find something to critique :P. I love : 'Is now a lifetime of memories Stitched together with adventure and ...

Any ideas on improvements? PROLOGUE June 2002- Somewhere in the Western Amazon Bubbles cascaded to the surface of the pool as Nicolai struggled against the strong hand pushing him under. ...