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Re: Land of Sky, Land of Rain (Chapter Thirteen, Part A)
Not to be forgotten about, the other me, the voice, and the whole stupid dream sequence are back again that night. -- I understand what you are trying to say ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: Chapter 1, The Duty {Being Edited}
OKay, I'm revising this story again, so stay tuned.
May 8, 2008 -
Re: A Dangerous Night Chap.2
As soon as he did that, Shang zoomed away without a second glance in Zekes direction -- As soon as he stepped out, Shang zoomed away. Two hours later Zeke ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: The Watcher (Chapter 2)
Yeah, I was just looking back over my writing (I wrote and finished this novel a while ago and I realized that the first chapter differs a lot on Adelaide's ...
May 7, 2008 -
Re: The Lily
Once upon a time is old. Life isn’t what is it used to be, and neither are its fairy tales. No more are there knights and shining armor and damsels ...
May 7, 2008 -
Re: Acrostic Thingie
Handed out lines are prison chains -- i didn't really get the sense that this was going to be a poem with a morbid feel. You might want to try ...
May 7, 2008 -
Re: The Watcher (Chapter 2)
Continuation of The Watcher, my fantasy novel Read Chapter one first Chapter One Chapter Two “Anne, please try to keep up,” Adelaide called after the red head as she galloped ...
May 7, 2008 -
Re: The Dagger of Truth [Chapter Two]--Edited
Well done! I loved it. A couple suggestions/ things I noticed: 1) You have Dara refer to Karson as a native a lot when she was talking to him in ...
May 7, 2008 -
Re: Symmetry's Illusion: Prologue
Especially during autumn nights -- i would take this out, This night -- say: tonight instead of this night Hardly audible over the crashing water was a gentle, yet heartless ...
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Rewrite of Chapter 1 The Watcher
Thanks so much everyone! I'll definitley check out your suggestions and fix the whole confusing pronoun thing. I'll introduce her name at the beginning so it isn't so confusing :D
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Part one of chapter 1(not yet named)
I kept all of my attention on those last rays of light. say instead, I kept my attention focused on those last rays. I unclenched one of my hands and ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: The Dagger of Truth [Chapter One]--Edited
No Problem. Also can you pm me when you put up your next chapter? :D
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Rewrite of Chapter 1 The Watcher
Thanks so much for all the help! bear and Jaliayh-- about the anger thing, she has to pretend that she doesn't associate with the common folk and must look down ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Dead?
In complete disbelief, Robert sat motionlessly in the driver seat. As his fingers grazed the cold glass, he instantaneously became sober and realized what had just happened. -- i don't ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Risen From Ashes: Chapter Three
Psssst!!! I suggest you start from the beginning. It'll make things alot less confusing! Chapter One Chapter Two _______________________________________________________________________ The inside was
May 4, 2008