sargsauce

A rather interesting piece. Here's what I took away from it: The girl is afraid of being let down. That feeling that comes after the momentary climax where it's all ...

Agreed with confetti. The first line gives the false allure of a hook, but then there's nothing to substantiate it and then we're just watching someone cook and read the ...

An interesting premise, but something feels off about it. The words you use don't quite evoke helplessness. With my shaking hand I picked up hers and felt for a pulse. ...

The beginning was great. You really capture the whole "uneasy, what the heck is he doing, aaagh the things he says are super weeeird!" Something else I hadn’t noticed before, ...

The Apple From The Tree I think what lends to the confusion is some of the sacrifices made to squash it into 150 words. For example: She was the old ...

Overall, I like it. It works without being preachy, without being melodramatic. The overarching idea and mood are good, but I think that a line-by-line brings out some sticking points. ...

Greetings, Ms. Carraway. I have somehow become one of the judges for the 150 words contest, and it is my duty to critique. Critique, I shall. Flash fiction is all ...

This was a nice piece. However, as far as flash fiction goes, you could have better economy of words. You've padded the piece a bit too much in places. Imagine ...

Buongiorno, Principessa! I have somehow become one of the judges for said contest, and here is my review of your piece. I mostly have to echo everything carbon has said. ...

This reads less like a short story and more like an essay with a prompt. Like you were in school and you were told to "Write about a person, place, ...

I didn't notice any striking language errors. You're leagues above many other native English speakers ;) Midnight is a terrible time for a cup of coffee. I like the hook. ...

Heeey, I saw you had another one, so I decided to stop by. And I'm glad I did! This was a good story. I could definitely see this fleshed out ...

Welcome! It's always unnerving to submit your first work anywhere. It'll get easier with time. So, overall, this was a pretty good little story. The character of Davora is nice, ...

Since you posted this in the middle of the night (by your subtitle), I'll forgive you the typos. But I'll still point them out. girlfriends decided tto warmed up tp ...

Nice, but disjointed. This story is like a skeleton without the muscles and tendons...or photographs in an album without the context. You have snippets of nice little scenes, but it ...