sargsauce

Iiiii approve. Dark, bitter, mature. The choppy beginning is the perfect lure to the second paragraph where you take your time to pick apart some stupid fantasy like a bad ...

Pretty good. It became a little predictable once you realize Bill is a little crazy and Freddy probably isn't a regular joe, but that's okay. What matters is how the ...

In a word: boring. There is no conflict here worth noting in anything larger in influence than gossip and girl-talk. If this writing is intended for an article in Teen ...

I dig it. The entire time I was reading it, I thought something was off: it was the way the narrator's tone in the flashback is a little detached and ...

I will echo Curious to emphasize its importance: Make more paragraphs. It'll be more pleasing to the eye, more approachable to your readers (garnering more readers, which is always good), ...

Rule Number 1: proofread. When you think you're done, reread what you've written, and don't get caught up in the story. Look at the words and make sure they say ...