sargsauce

Overall, I like it. It works without being preachy, without being melodramatic. The overarching idea and mood are good, but I think that a line-by-line brings out some sticking points. ...

Well earned, H-to-the-anna(h)!

Greetings, Ms. Carraway. I have somehow become one of the judges for the 150 words contest, and it is my duty to critique. Critique, I shall. Flash fiction is all ...

This was a nice piece. However, as far as flash fiction goes, you could have better economy of words. You've padded the piece a bit too much in places. Imagine ...

Buongiorno, Principessa! I have somehow become one of the judges for said contest, and here is my review of your piece. I mostly have to echo everything carbon has said. ...

This reads less like a short story and more like an essay with a prompt. Like you were in school and you were told to "Write about a person, place, ...

I didn't notice any striking language errors. You're leagues above many other native English speakers ;) Midnight is a terrible time for a cup of coffee. I like the hook. ...

Heeey, I saw you had another one, so I decided to stop by. And I'm glad I did! This was a good story. I could definitely see this fleshed out ...

Welcome! It's always unnerving to submit your first work anywhere. It'll get easier with time. So, overall, this was a pretty good little story. The character of Davora is nice, ...

Since you posted this in the middle of the night (by your subtitle), I'll forgive you the typos. But I'll still point them out. girlfriends decided tto warmed up tp ...

Nice, but disjointed. This story is like a skeleton without the muscles and tendons...or photographs in an album without the context. You have snippets of nice little scenes, but it ...

Yes, a few errors in grammar here and there. Like the capitalized "Suitcase" in the beginning. And somewhere, you were missing an apostrophe, but I can't find it now. a ...

Agreed with brady x2. A lot of telling and saying, "He thought this" and "He believed that" but never letting the reader make up his own mind about the scene. ...

[Thanks for reading!]

First off: glad you're okay now. Keep it that way =) If the subtitle is true, then I truly feel for you because even the best of us get confused ...