sargsauce

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I got about halfway through before I decided to make this comment. It would behoove you to make this more readable. This story is basically 6 HUGE, dense paragraphs. And ...

The Unbearable Lightness of Being The movie (for the older audiences) was ABYSMAL and seemed more like a 3rd grade book report. The book (not necessarily for older audiences) quickly ...

This was written very well, but the grand 10-minute realization nearly slipped past me without notice. Paragraph 1: Great. In 5 sentences, without all these fancy words and endless similes ...

Cute. :) You've got a nice rhythm going and some smooth rhymes. Honestly, executed better than many serious poems around here. Just some suggestions: Last line: take out or change ...

Welcome! Is the19 in your name for your age? Cos, if so, you're not thinking about the future... Hope you enjoy your stay and try not to be overwhelmed by ...

You ruin the whole mood when you start off saying, "I'm horrible, don't laugh at me!" ;) Relax. There's nothing to laugh about. You've got a solid attempt here. But ...

kogarasumaro: If you don't even read a significant portion of the piece, don't comment. And if your comment is not helpful and, instead, a row of emoticons, don't bother. Retrodisco: ...

Honestly not exactly my cup of tea. There are many fantastic and fantastical images that stay in the mind, but there are so many roundabout detours to get there that ...

Please don't start your submissions with, "This sucks, haha, don't take it seriously." It ruins the whole mood. Overall, I like it! You describe the events eloquently, the pacing is ...

He couldn't walk if he had nothing to hold on to. If this was the case, he had to use his motorized chair. This can be said more eloquently. Or, ...

I have no idea what the first section is for. And because of it, I have no interest in the lengthy description of the concert, which goes on too long ...

I will make a prediction now: Provided there is decent participation, the winner of that contest will use dialogue in a very interesting, compelling manner that allows us to see ...

I agree with Pet Rock. Take the time to really examine your emotions. Because so far, what you have said could be found on a Hallmark greeting card (albeit in ...

It's incredibly refreshing to see something daring on here. First and foremost, allow me to thank you for that. There's no lovelorn-heartbreak-I'mnotgoodenoughforyou-you'renotgoodenoughforme-numbawkwa