sargsauce

Well then. That was fast paced and dizzy with blood. Let's get down to it. Thunder ruptured the eerie silences "the eerie silence" maybe? Pluralizing "silence" is a very weird ...

Overall, this was pretty good. Mature and dignified. So let's get into the nitty gritty. Get a better title. A title that resonates with what your piece is about. There's ...

Evi is braver than I am. Originally, I had tried to be the first or second comment on here and say one thing of substance (which has flown out of ...

I reread the first couple lines a few times, then I saw Krzyh's suggestion to switch them, and thought, "Genius!" It's just that 1) the first line is so specific ...

I'm glad someone took a different spin on the letter from the dead. Letter from the murdered to the killer. Cool. (Personally, I entertained aspirations in my head of letter ...

All my life, I've gotten INTJ. Fellow INTJers, (integers?), let's band together and rule this world! We will do logic to it!

You have a decent opening with "I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt" (though some might say it's the kind of opening that's been used many times before). However! ...

Is it just the barren drought of excitement in the general fiction section for the past week or two? This work is exciting to me. She is very peaceful. The ...

Is it too late? Is it due by the end of today or the beginning? I don't even know what time it is in YWS time. We need a little ...

You've got a good voice, but it can sometimes get crowded pretty fast and it hurries along even faster before we can pick up the pieces. I'll go through step ...

The first two paragraphs feel disproportionately out of place. It's two paragraphs of a very careful, slow character portrait and then we're abruptly given action in the third paragraph. Two ...

I don't think anyone's mentioned, but the punctuation for the dialogue bothered me. It was inconsistent. “Derek,” I said Proper. “You loved me.” I said Improper. If you follow it ...

Wholeheartedly agree with Wario. What is the point of this? I understand that every writer has the urge to write just thoughts, but these thoughts you have recorded here aren't ...

Who is Chuck Palahniuk? The internets. He's pretty good, though generally lesser known. He wrote Fight Club, which was pretty enjoyable, and the inspiration for an equally enjoyable movie coincidental

Apparently I write like a Canadian science-fiction/cyberpunk writer. I got both William Gibson and Cory Doctorow (both Canadian, science-fiction/cyberpunk writers). So experiment time! I typed in: "He