rosethorn

This definetly sparks something but it doesn't hit strong enough because the rhyming is so incredibly forced. You've got the right focus as far as the message goes but you're ...

Erm...no. Not that I can think of. Why investigate Evanescence? They're pretty mellow.

This reminds me... When I was nine or ten years old, unexpectedly, my mom kept me home from school one day. I believe it was early fall. She dressed me ...

I liked the idea. I liked the length of the piece. However: Tiny white knuckles, gentle baby's knees . What exactly are "gentle baby's knees"? I didn't much like that ...

I find "the Hamburger" method effective. Start with the good, of course. Then in with what needs improvement. Always start and end with the good though. I don't always follow ...

Long, gorgeous sentences. Had a nice sense of time passed. There are a few things I could point out as far as paragraphs go: I rounded the next corner, my ...

I have NO idea how to pronounce Leighann. I didn't think about this! :) Leighann is actually pronounced LEE-ANN. It is just an awkward spelling. I didn't want to force ...

I did not read through all the critiques so forgive me if I repeat anything. This story flows quite nicely and you create a sense of "time passing", something I ...

I'm surprised to find myself the first one to comment on this piece here! I found this piece to be a lovely expression. The phrasing is great, the words chosen ...

Yeah, I'll be putting a page break between the two parts. I'm terrible at "moving" characters and I try to avoid it when I can. But if I did put ...

Thanks everybody! I'm really pleased with what I have so far! Every one of you guy was a great help to this project of mine. The second section is now ...

Brief Intro: What I look for in poetry is simply this: Does it give off a message that is significant and does it make sense? That defines to me whether ...

“Powerful employer, eh?” Anton repeated. I shook my head, still chuckling about the encounter. “Said she wouldn’t be leaving the city without me. Called me arrogant, too.” He took a ...

I stumbled on this site a few short months ago while I was desperately trying to find a place to post my work. I was a member of but I ...

You are right about it. I felt somewhat cheated when I turned 17. Even 18 isn't much better. Two days after my 18th birthday, I stepped forward to join the ...