retrodisco666

Hello, Firstly I liked the link between the first and last stanza, i always think that it's a nice touch. Secondly, this poem reminds of a poem called homecoming as ...

Hey, Excuse me whilst I vomit. :D What we have here, for me, is a standard love poem. It isn't the best, but it isn't the worst. It's hard to ...

Thanks for the comments :D ~Retro Disco666

Hey, I re-read this and have decided that you should defently do something with the start of this poem. It is pure genius. ~Retro Disco666

Hey, I'm quite intrigued into what's going to happen next if I'm being honest. Let me know when you carry on. I liked it, it was very descriptive, and the ...

Hey, This poem could be good, but at the moment it is hard to take any of it in because it's just a big block of writing on the page. ...

Hey, The rhyming does feel forced, however I don't think this piece would work without it to be honest. It has a nice touch to it, because rhyming is meant ...

Hey, Right positive first. Your idea behind the piece is good and with work could become a good piece. Negative. The rhyming kills it, completely. It feels force and it ...

Hey, It was short but effective. I love the first paragraph, it left a vagueness but gave us a reason to keep reading. If i were you, i would keep ...

I actually like parts of this. I wasn't sure to expect, but it was good. :D ~Retro Disco666

Hey, I love it. No problems with it. Well done I can't wait to read more! ~Retro Disco666

Hey, I like it, I like it a lot actually. The thing is, it's generic, and nothing new. Sorry. PM if you need anything. ~Retro Disco666

I can't tell if i like it. That's the only thing i can think of putting. ~Retro Disco666

Hey, For the first few lines I knew what you were on about, even though you didn't actually say love. I think this is really refreshing in this style of ...

William Wordsworth. When I read the affliction of Margret, I actually cried. ~Retro Disco666