retrodisco666

"Jasmine watch out!" I yell as she storm off. The wheels screeched from the 1980's ford before coliding with her. I sprinted after her. She was laid in front of ...

Name:Aimee Serena Age:(above 20) 22 Gender: Female Group:(First or second group in.) The first one . . . I think. (The ones who have experienced nightmares) Appearance:(No Anime and No ...

"Students!" she yelled from the front of the hall. "We have had a horrible monster amoungst out presence." Muttering broke around the crowd. I yawned and put my feet up ...

The kid thought he had won, but in reality I had only given him wrappers. I was half way out the door when an annoucment blared out over the room. ...

Hello my dear! I would not scrap it, but as you say it does need changed. My problem with the piece is the way you have started each stanza. It ...

Hey, Woo! Society hates me. Thank you deary. It is such a cute little idea which I may steal at some point XD Well written as well actually so well ...

We're all just six feet under, shut away from the world. Our secret's are sins and we should be ashamed. Yet, we all walked forward, and held our colours high. ...

People usually drink wine with meals, Rosé, white or red regardless, I take a swig of poison, but don't take salt, but arsanic. A sucide attempt, how drole. Happiness in ...

I sat at the bar, holding onto my whiskey as if it was my gun. The bar was full of pretty girls and handsome fella's, but I didn't take notice ...

Name:Daniel Bukovski Age:32 Gender:Male Appearance:He is short and stout. He has wiry grey hair and a trimmed grey beard. He has piercing blue eyes. He has a scar coming from ...

hello! This was really good. I shall give my negatives first. Mrs V. I would change her name, it just doesn't sound right for the character portrayed. When he goes ...

Hey, In terms of how this was written and the content it was really really god, so I plaude you there. However, I feel like this is in the wrong ...

Thank you for your comments

Hey, I like the concept but for it truly to be a sonnet I think you need to work it into Iambic pentameter. This would also improve the flow aspect ...

Hey, This poem, wasn't really a poem. It was a list. And didn't really have much to it. . . . I think you need to go through it and ...