rachelH2O

Thanks for the comments, guys! They were all very helpful and I will definitely include your advice in my revisions. The biggest problem with it is probably the repetitive prose, ...

but honestly, if i could have read this aloud, i think my lengthy, philosophically rampant, sentences would make much more sense; considering i wanted that description of the 'pursuing death' ...

P.S. I'm not really sure what happened at the end. Who is Hayes? Is it like...a book within a book? Or...well, I'm intrigued.

I was expecting some tragic/horrific story about the giant pittbull or rottwieler (or some other stereotypical dog associated with vicious behavior) who menaced you with bared teeth at a young ...

Ah, Rellety that is a wonderful suggestion! I will definitely add that to the end of my piece. And as to the philosophy behind it...well, I was half-asleep at best ...

Thank you for your wonderful comments. I often find myself using unusual vocabulary that I probably shouldn't. But I think I should clarify... not a simple child's narration of her ...