purplegirl14

This is really good. Mysterious and creepy too! Here are some revisions you could make, since that's what you wanted: "This just can't be the place." He said, going over ...

Very interesting. Here are a few mistakes:(Red=should be deleted, green=needs change) "She is too powerful to o exist in this world any longer." (Should be capitolized.) h is icy breath ...

Very good. I do like how you are switching point of view. It makes it interesting, and this way, if you want the reader not to know everything that is ...

You can have a little bit of description of your character at the begining, but most people don't like a lot. Here is one thing not to do: "Hi, my ...

This is a really interesting story. It's very unique and different. I like how there is magic, but it isn't jumping up and down, waving it's arms, and screaming, "Look ...

Hi! I'd love it if you could review this for me. Here's the link: There are two chapters so far; this is the link to the first one. I only ...

Thanks. I will make sure not to get bitten by a zombie. Unless I need to know what a zombie think like or something for my story. Then I might. ...

Cursing in stories is okay. Just don't curse every other word that your character says. That gets kind of annoying. Also, make sure it's rated properly! If you don't want ...

I don't think that is cliche if the idea of the story is original. If the story is basically following the plot of every other romance book, then it turna ...

Thanks a lot! :mrgreen:

*Danni POV* "Danni, can you please tell the council what you saw when you were out today?" I wonder if Councilor Com is usually this informal in council, or if ...

Hi! I'm still kind of new to writing, but I can tell you what I do to get better. For starters, just think of different ideas. If you can't imagine ...

I would recommend not introducing the character in the first paragraph like that. It makes it seem a little too informal. I would try incorperating your introduction a different way. ...

I really like this! Very unique! It draws readers in and makes you want to know more. I like the way things are described, but a few more details would ...

Great start! Very unique. I like the character. The tips are funny too! Just a tip: I'm not saying that you are doing this, but just don't go by all ...