politicaltinkerbell

Some wonderful phrases here, but the style and structure of the poem needs to be more cohesive and determined. It wanders about so randomly... to make the poem lucid you ...

Rated G. Elaborate?

You have improved! I'm so proud!

oh and I think it would make for a great song

Wow. I just love your work. Nice rhythm in this one. And it speaks to me. Hate it when people use cuz instead of 'cause though, but I’ll forgive you. ...

Nice Nice. I just love your choice of words.

Long, but worth it. Kind of like reading T.S Elliot’s the wasteland, long but definitely worth it. Sometimes your sentences are suddenly really long or short as opposed to the ...

Very Very interesting. Although how does this fit with the title? I love the sort of criticism you have going on in it. Nice rhythmic flow. Favorite parts [quote="PsyLynx"]12-04-05 Cursed ...

quote="bubblewrapped"]I just gotta tell you, I love your avatar. It's hilarious! :lol: Unfortunately (dont hate me!) I dont feel the same way about your poem. Everything is not clear- there ...

They are wrong when they think he’s far They are wrong when they think he’s scary A creep, an acrimonious jerk But I fucking smile when I see him I ...

poetic reply :D :D

Lucid dreams abduct the veneer For there are things worse than death When in your restless mind, escape isn’t near Illusion paralyzes and reality takes its breath And they were ...

hahaha, thx! I know that sugar is sweet. But sometimes things are so ugly they are beautifull.:P

Corrections; 8 years or so. Also stop using slang grammar such as cuz, write 'cause. Proper grammer hun! don't succumb to the internet slang thing!

much much better!