piepiemann22

Let's see, over all I liked it. The topic is good and you had decent word choice. Just a few things to make it better. 1) The rhyming was way ...

Ask and you shall receive. Now to get started. 1) No foundation. Your stanza lengths are all out of whack. Try to even them out. 2) The idea of the ...

I out ate my DAD!! I'm doing the idiot dance.

(I'll make a second character, but if sasquash doesn't like it I'll delete him.) Name- Samuel Testin Appearance- the blond Alliance- Princes Royal Guard Class- Lancer Weapon- Spear

Sano put his arm on Geomana's shoulder, "Stay here." "Only until someone needs me." Sano looked up to see Kersko walking foreword, sword drawn. Sano did the same, "You smell ...

Garrick marvaled at his renewed strength. Picking up his gun blade he said, "We can rest at my place. I have made a home in the mountian there." He pointed ...

(I took Kitties edvice to write about something real. Let me know what you think.) I stare across the field, target in sight. Coming fromthe right, another to the left. ...

Garrick was helped to his feet by Saera. There were many people surrounding them, one lifter her hand, "Hurry, we have to get out of her." Garrick nodded, but nearly ...

Sano looked at everyone. They all nodded including Kersko, "I'm not letting you go without me this time." Geomana just gave him a playful smile. Sano stood up and walked ...

(I just realized this was in the wrong forum. Any way, this was the first poem I ever wrote so it's not that good. Just thought i should move it. ...

Well, you'll be happy with one of my future characters in my book. He may wear dark clothes, (You'll find out why) But really id quiet and doesn't speak much ...

Good, good. You had nice description, though it is really short. Even so, you make me want to at least read the next chapter.

I see, I think I get it now. Well, I'll be waiting for when you truly get the story going. You know, introduce the plot =)

(True, but that's it right. Small party I think. Any way to many went bad. =( Oh well. Still, where is everyone else?

Thank you. I'm just not sure what to put inthe story. My question is where is everyone else?