piepiemann22

Zelles starts to cough up water. He sits up. "Oww, why me?" He looks up to see the young lady being held by Aro. "We need to get this cleared ...

First of all add punctuation. It will make it sound better. You also type to fast. yoru is spelled your. even I knew that. The last line also seemed to ...

haha, very funny. Your just jelouse.

yes, in the beginning, he is like that.

I think chris wishes to make Rin a middle character, but not sure.

9/10 Legolas rulz

I think you got it. Sorry, my mom took the computer for a while.

As I stare across the ocean, an endless bound. I ask myself a question one I have sought. A purpose to life, and a reason to death. The sun goes ...

"Aw, uh, that was unpleasent." Zelles begins to sit up. He takes a deep breath. "Aro, you can't force people to do things, even though she should stay." He heared ...

I like it. the only thing is you could have ended the chapter a little better in my oppinion. Other then that, keep going.

Sure

I like it as a short story, but why did you put it in POETRY?

Wow, that's about all I have to say. Any way, nice to meet you.

Okay, lets see. it is good, but I'm not sure it's best as poetry. It may be better as a short srory if you fiddle with it a bit. I'm ...

Thank you for your help. I have to edmit this isin't my best poem. I'll try again soon.