phoenixwriter

"I have ebony skin and small but very hard muscles, before my mom died my nickname from her was the beautiful African priestess." A semicolon might be better in place ...

She chained both prisoners to the wall and carefully draped the snakes around their shoulders. “Good night,” she crooned, and planted a soft kiss on David’s cheek. Where she kissed ...

By Phoenix “Aahh!” “Hold still!” “Stop!” “I can’t. It’s almost over.” “Make it stop. PLEASE!” David pleaded. The old man was rubbing an airy substance in David’s eyes, and he

By Phoenix Face to face with him was the largest puma he had ever seen. The cat’s body was lean, sinewy, and muscular. It was a frame that commanded respect ...

"These where dangerous streets to walk alone, the best kind of streets. What would be life without a sense of danger? What was life without the thrill of the hunt ...

This is great, so far! The mood is done so miraculously well! I love how you alternate between dialogue and the character's thoughts in: “Today we climb to new heights ...

The poem is quite abstract, and is pretty good. I like how you keep the reader thinking of your poem's meaning and letting him/her figure it out. Very nice! Keep ...

By Phoenix As he slept against the hard brambles, he dreamed of several random recollections: the night his father left and the time he came face to face with a ...

Hi everyone. This is the first chapter of my novel. I started writing this in fourth grade, and finished it a year ago. I'll be posting more stuff later. Promise! ...

Excellent!!!! Great description and thoughts of Angel. What angelic thoughts :) It's great how you go into history a little and background without shoving it in randomly in the texts. ...

Nice chapter name, first off. The story narration is good and playful. The playfulness is very pleasant and is a refreshing change for reading. I like how you put Jinx's ...

This is awesome. I haven't read your first version of this book, but I'm amazed at your writing style. It's so polished and mature. So different from mine... I like ...

Excellent preface! I loved the intro. Very nicely done and lures people right in! Nice for a laugh, and good use of foreshadowing. I really liked the attitude of this ...

Nice beginning. I like the background of the main character's job. The characterization is also done nicely and it is obvious this man likes money very much. Maybe a little ...

This is a very good beginning to a story. I like how you made the main character very considerate and almost motherly, yet innocent and young. I enjoyed the dialogue ...