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Re: Whats next?
agree with the above. Haikus are generally considered to be an 'easy' form but actually they are tricky simply because they are short. In a short poem like a haiku, ...
Apr 18, 2011 -
Re: A slightly immoral Cynics Rapture
sestinas are desperately tricky to pull off and it seems like you've got the basics down. This sestina seems a bit different from the form I learned, but that's okay, ...
Apr 18, 2011 -
Re: Sunday Evening
I. Soft instants of color stoke the lady while my eyes meander. I don't know if I'm exactly buying this. The imagery is a little vague, "soft instants of color ...
Apr 18, 2011 -
Re: Perdido's late start napo thread
removed by the author
Apr 17, 2011 -
Re: The American Dream
I agree with Kit, you've got to be consistent with rhyme scheme but the meter is so broken that it doesn't really matter. I'd take out the rhyme altogether, and ...
Apr 17, 2011 -
Re: Perdido's late start napo thread
removed by the author
Apr 17, 2011 -
Re: Post-storm
My shoes are stuck in the mud and I'm just sitting here, waiting for something extraordinary. But there's nothing at all - nothing but the spring sun poking through the ...
Apr 17, 2011 -
Re: Villanelle Variation
My eyes are just two objects- Earths without a species and dirt without the life, The light of consciousness injects. if I were going to rewrite this stanza, I'd tell ...
Apr 17, 2011 -
Re: If I Were To Love
If I were to love, I’d like to love like the Sun, Glowing, enlightening, and omnipresent. If I were to love, I’d like to love like the Moon, Cold, veiled, ...
Apr 15, 2011 -
Re: Supernova
I knew this good weather wouldn’t last forever. How can something that felt so right end up so wrong? Now there’s nothing left for us to do but to pick ...
Apr 15, 2011 -
Re: iced tea
I take a sip - icy, sweet - on my porch, protected from the mid-day summer sun. I eye the land around me, that which is my home. Underneath blue ...
Apr 15, 2011 -
Re: Moment
In the crossed-line of melancholy, One sits and waits patiently, Smiling at chaos Praying to loss. i don't think you need those commas, any of them. also, you don't have ...
Apr 15, 2011 -
Re: Me, And My Vagrancy Part 2
Why should I carry the burden of this pain anymore? Why should I burn my heart in her thoughts anymore? Why should I waste my tears all night anymore? Why ...
Apr 15, 2011 -
Re: Perdido's late start napo thread
FAMILIAR MITOCHONDRIA my dad's sister died, she died not quite my dad's sister see, he didn't really know her didn't know she existed till he was 18 see, in California ...
Apr 15, 2011 -
Re: Perdido's late start napo thread
FROM A GREEK RESTAURANT ON MT. VERNON ROAD Yeah I am out there in 21st century Iowa with the corn stalks and shy August birds, with the wind that lobotomized ...
Apr 15, 2011
