perdido

THE BODIES pt III Dana doesn't come around no more she blitzed the oxeye meadow before the horizon could pitch the sun over the mountain. Daisies don't come around no ...

I mean, I had a general idea of what it was from the beginning. I think it could have been more clear, but I get that its a stylistic choice ...

SELF PORTRAIT AT 21 #3 I wonder aloud at dinner about whether or not if i put my butt up to someone else's butt could I poop into their butt ...

I'm sorry I just didn't like your piece! It's okay, not everyone is gonna like your stuff! You've made it clear you don't like mine either. Turns out, it doesn't ...

oh sorry I didn't realize you were too good for my criticisms. I'm giving you honest criticism from my experience as a writer, a consultant, an editor, and a student. ...

okay I'm going to edit out the sarcasm and give it to you straight: It's all on your other story so look there.

My eyes are just two objects- Earths without a species and dirt without the life, The light of consciousness injects. if I were going to rewrite this stanza, I'd tell ...

out of 6,775,235,741 people in this world, one girl sees the real me. so erin, ignore this ramble. it only applies to the other 6,775,235,740. how dare you all? how ...

again, you are misusing semicolons. (Here's a hint, there should be a complete sentence on both sides of the semicolon). It's funny, I can give you almost the exact same ...

I'm just going to type things here as I'm reading. If you don't know how to use semicolons properly, don't use them. Try to vary your sentence structure a little ...

Remove me, from the land of Nod, upon the beginning of October: the second rodent obtains the degenerate milk product, though the prime-arriving hand-bird acquires the mud-crawler – half the ...

uni, as in university of northern iowa? Um, anyway, my only words of advice involve... varied sentence structure would be good. Not a fan of the repetition. Other then that, ...

my impression: Long and rambly. Cliche and over sentimental. It's almost completely devoid of sensory detail, this poem is emotion in a vacuum. Here's the thing. Emotion cannot exist in ...

Twinkling stars dive in the sky, The moon shines elegantly above his subjects. twinkling stars. that's the best description of stars you can muster? Unlikely. Try a different adjective. Or ...

Oh love I think I may have lost my mind. Lying here asleep in the wake of my carnage, You should not have been so unkind. Is this poem addressed ...