perdido

THE TRIALS OF THE FALSE KNIGHT and under blue bricks and vines, the mist of the marsh and I walk to the white flag fields, meadows with cherry weeds and ...

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WAR MOVIES Col. Alvaro Goza, his mustache and the scars on his hands like tangled telephone wires does battle with the demon of incomplete vending machine transactions. His kicks and ...

muscles chiseling at his face makes me uncomfortable. Why are his muscles doing that? Maybe phrase that differently. I like that it's in present tense. Gonna be honest, I got ...

eh. Not really a fan of the singsongy rhyme scheme. I guess I'm more of a fan of specific details and sensory information. All I get here is... there's this ...

this is a pretty strong piece, some suggestions I have involve: a) you don't have to capitalize the first letter of each line. Punctuate it the same way you would ...

I disagree with housecat's assertion that you have to wrap all the quotation in a single quotes. I read it as three separate statements that are not necessarily spoken by ...

Unlike what the previous reviewer seems to believe, the poem is not in iambic pentameter. I mean... the second foot is inverted... and there are several lines that have more ...

full of cliche, completely devoid of sensory detail, repetitive, forced rhyme, inactive, uninteresting, nearly style-less. here is my advice. When you write, try to SHOW and not TELL. Which is ...

typos. Seems slapdash, random words seem to be capitalized at times. I don't know. This poem didn't interest me in general. I didn't find the imagery good... actually I didn't ...

I donno, I think there are too many questions. When i read the second line, I almost thought it was about the end of the world. So then in the ...

ugh. One thing that bugged me was that every new line started with a capital. You don't have to do that, you capitalize and punctuate poetry like you would prose. ...

i'd say that there is a narrative here. I thought the repetition, the promise motif was effective, the dialogue in particular is pretty powerful, I liked the specific details, reminders ...

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