perdido

^i object that you say this has too much of a story... this is the narrative poetry section. also I think its ridiculous... these three poetry sections should just be ...

your rhyme scheme made me LOL. its sing-songy and maudlin. Here is my suggestion: tell us something specific that happened with your mother. Maybe tell us a story. Also: you ...

the main problem I encounter while reading this poem is that it relies heavily on cliche. The enjambment is unpleasant, you know, when you do this to a line. It ...