perdido

Your language was simply not enough to hold my attention for that long. This poem is too long. Condensation is your ally, here, there is a lot that is unnecessary. ...

^what a waste of a review. anyway: first thing I'd do is take out all the ellipses. You have abused them and you need to set them free. I think ...

wow Kylan. You have a very distinct voice, you show a mastery of the expressive nature of language. I think your most effective tool while revising will definitely be condensation, ...

is this a prose-poem? It doesn't really make sense. "My most important tool is now in ruin, and is impair." What??? Something is wrong Confronting my handicap sounds like you ...

some grammar mistakes right off the bat: the first stanza should read Soaring, flying so high my heart goes out to you as a warm breeze passes us by. or ...

that line should read "The worms dug themselves up" instead of had dug. The whole poem suffers from... overpopulation like that. One thing i do like is the use of ...

Okay I really like the image of a windmill on the horizon slowly breaking apart. If i were writing this poem I would describe its atrophy in complete, I would ...

First of all, your rhyme scheme makes this impossible to approach. I can't tell if its forced or just a bad scheme but it has to change, otherwise no one ...

first of all: spare us the colors. meticously = meticulously (that really gave my dyslexia a run for its money) raps = wraps Anyway: I have a soft spot for ...

I'm a sucker for a good playlist, music is a huge part of my life. I usually put this playlist on random and then wander around the city. (*some of ...

I think there are some good portions of this, but it gets to wrapped up in unnecessary exclamations like "do not deny, do not regret!" Maybe I just hate the ...

I agree with what Hannah said... what did you expect to hear? Layla accused you of posting a song rather than lyric poetry, but that's dumb because its only a ...

I agree with Snoink. You've got to pare away things that are unnecessary and replace them with things that are more interesting. For example... why someone would engage in a ...

generally I hate poetry that asks a lot of questions. If a poem is going to ask you a question, it should ask... without asking. I know that doesn't make ...

I saw the infamous Naked Cowboy in Times Square today. That was odd. anyway The rhyme scheme is sonnet style but the meter is really, really off, and meter is ...