pazey13

That was really beautiful. I really liked the part about the girl in the meadow. The use of vocabulary was really amazing! I really felt like I knew the character.

Wow! That was REALLY good! The use of vocabulary was perfect and it flowed along so well. Keep up the good work!

Many girls are able to relate to this and that's what I really like about it. So many people get this feeling at one point in their lives. However, try ...

That was pretty good. You really should put the dream parts in italics. Also, try to put in more sensory details. What is the character seeing, feeling, tasting, hearing, etc? ...

That was really great but I couldn't really get "into" the poem. The meaning of it was very relatable but I think that with better vocabulary, it could be deeper ...

Wow. That was really amazing. Your use of words was beautiful. It was really deep and touching. You almost made me cry!

This is GREAT. I like how it's easily relatable. It describes the confusing questions of young love perfectly. GOOD JOB!

Woah! That was really cool! I really like the interpretation of the thunderstorm-how it wasn't something to be feared. It was more of something to be in awe of. I'll ...

It's really good but like people have said before me, it's not much of a prologue. You should make the prologue more like the first chapter of the book. This ...

Prologue: Asher dove through the hole in the church wall for the thousandth time. He had been living in the small cubby hole for longer than he could remember and ...

Prologue: Asher dove through the hole in the church wall for the thousandth time. He had been living in the small cubby hole for longer than he could remember and ...

Prologue: Asher dove through the hole in the church wall for the thousandth time. He had been living in the small cubby hole for longer than he could remember and ...