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I think that you should expand on this. Throw in more metaphors and meanings into this. I don't know what else to say. It didn't give me any depth. It ...

Head pounds as she writes. Drowning in the ocean of pills and wine she shouldn't be touching, but who's to tell her no? Step aside and look in front. Mother ...

I love this. Just wanted to say. I didn't find anything wrong with it. All your grammar is correct as is spelling. It gets the message across very well.

Luke stood by Mark, watching River Michaels get swarmed with fans. It was...RIVER MICHAELS!!! He began to breathe heavily. "Erm, Luke, are you alright?" Mark asked, inching away slowly. "Oh ...

(Please excuse me but because I am lazy, I won't pull quotes from this.) Let's start with the dissection before I give my overall opinion. The first four lines, I ...

Well, this woman definitely have OCD. I love your wording in this. It gave me that haphazard, crazy sense in this. I learned a new word from this! I don't ...

That's very helpful. May I ask, do you have any references to go to in order to learn about that career? Could you give me some? Very informative article, by ...

The lines are a bit too short and concise. Maybe you should fit some more metaphors in it, like the beginning one. Like maybe compare your feelings to a ship ...

Haha this is a fun peice. The mistakes were pointed out already. This made me giggle. I would love to show this to the couple's in my school.

Nathan~ "I believe I can fly~" he sang as he flew over the horizon. Hell, he was better at flying than Lucius! BANG!!! Until he ran into a tree at ...

It was a bit repetitive. I am assuming that a Night Shadow is like your angel but as a shadow. It gets the point across.

I go by lockers. "Hey Sarah..." There he is, Rivera, with my best friend. He grins. "Hello oh so holy creator." I faint. "Hey is she okay?" Sarah asks. Rivera ...

I feel that, in that situation, you didn't give it very much justice. The last stanza was just, ech. I didn't feel the heartbreak, or the revenge, or the reason ...

Of differences: of what we want and what we are by JMS We can sit there on front porches, wishing our life away. "I'm gonna be a doctor!" Well I'm ...

So this wasn't half bad. Not bad at all actually. The rhythm and rhyme was very nice. I would get rid of the "dear" because when I read it, it ...